Crash and Burn

I think I am too old for these clubs. Why? I'd rather go to a nice jazz club, sit, eat, drink, and relax. Or even better - a dinner for two by candlelight with a nice piano. The best - a quiet midnight picnic where you can see the stars and soft beats are playing from the car stereo. All of this crazy rave music and/or hardcore screamo rock has become bitter to me. This club called, "Burn" had a few live bands and some interesting people who I appropiately titled, "high school people." It was fun but I feel like I'm too old for this.

I saw a dead body for the first time last night. I was in a cab going to the school from the bus stop when I saw a man in handcuffs being led away by the police. I saw a pole nearly about to tip over, bent in at about a 45 degree angle near the base. I then saw a man lying still, on the ground, with a plastic bag covering his head and upper body. Still. Alone. In the middle of the field. The paramedics were there but why hadn't they taken him in? Hidden the man/body? To hide the...shame? pain? grief? annoyance to everyone else's night? Why was his body displayed there for all to see, half covered with plastic? Had his entire life led up to this moment where he would lie there? All those years of childhood, all those times his mother cooked for him, all those grades he received, all those nights where he hung out with his friends, all those times he sought and questioned God, all those times he cheered for a soccer team, all those moments - had they led to this?

What do we do? You know - with our lives? "Live life to the fullest." Someone said that. "Carpe diem." Someone said that. What did they do? What do I do?

I'm going to a jazz club on Wednesday.